Simon:Ok for Liam, let's do some abs and a little adorableness oh shit there goes the whole bottle ok a lot of adorableness and a good amount of fucking sexy and he can be that one innocent bastard that never does anything bad oh and add a voice that would be perfect for the beginning of songs wow I'm good.
Simon:Wow for Zayn. Let's make him drop dead gorgeous so that when you look at him you faint lmfao and how about I add a little bit of sex god so that he can DM whoever the hell he wants of and now give him the charisma of a mix of Christina Aguilera and Joshua from American Idol ok now let's make him so deep that he uses his own body as his inspirational journal ok.
Simon:And for Niall let's just throw a shit load of Irish and sexy hips that don't lie with a smile that will make these bitches hearts melt ok now let's give him the voice of an angel but wait he farts too and I'll make him have the appetite of a fat man oh and he's the only blondie yeah that will throw em off.
Simon:Let's make this bitch Louis a gay fucker with a sweet little voice but also give him nice eyes that stare into your soul oh and can't forget some hot sex hair ok oh fuck there goes the whole bottle of big penis oh well oh shit there goes 2 more bottles of big penis well ok.
Simon:Ok Harry has to be the partner of gay ass Louis because he's the only one left so let's put some cute ass dimples on his face and make him the only one with curly hair lmfao I'm a genius he's so GAY oh but he secretly has abs and v-lines nbd and his voice can sing just about anything because it's basically a combination of Jesus and Jesus.