do your eyes ever randomly go out of focus and then you are too lazy to focus them back in and just stare at nothing for a while
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
We can only be friends if you’re kind of an asshole. Not full blown asshole because that’s no fun. And if you’re not an asshole at all then that won’t work either. A halfway asshole. Those are my kind of people.
it’s the 8th month
I cracked the code
October is the 10th month though
It was originally the 8th month but then Julius fucking Caesar decided to add in July and August after himself and his nephew Augustus
we should totally just stab caesar